Hello, hello, Bosie Giddy-Gaylord here! It’s been a while hasn’t it, oh, you fabulous reader, you… So, let’s see, what has happened since I spoke to you last? That’s right. I bought some new slippers again. They’re wonderful fleece slippers that gently stroke my delicate toes with every step that I take across my drawing room. What else? Oh, I almost forgot. The lords. That’s right: The lords, the lords, the lords; oh, what have they been up to?

Well, to start with, Lord Boyling moved out of his crib to the Southern part of the fabulous country of Sweden to make an attempt at manual labour. Believe it or not, this specimen of our favourite group of noblemen is actually – and I’m not making this up – hard at work. In actuality, the work in question isn’t quite as manual as I would have you believe. I merely referred to it thusly, as his hands are most delicate and should never be neglected in mention. Instead, he fills his days with toiling laboriously through the intellectual crevices of the gaming community, jetsetting around the world and formulating wonderful texts to promote the latest item of frenzy among those intent on playing games by themselves instead of interacting with real people in the real world. Recently, however, he visited the heart of Sweden that is Stockholm, but I’ll get back to that further down. Ooooh, I just love saying those two words, don’t you? Further down… Say them with a raspy voice and you’ll see what I mean. Good luck on your venture, Lord Boyling!

Lord Ponkleton, in the meantime, seems to have initiated some kind of sordid relationship with his personal stylist. I say “sordid”, for his personal stylist, Lady Prudence Bell-Argenta, is a woman. How the congregation of a man and a, uh, woman could be called anything less is beyond me. In any event, I’m only here to report the news, not to subject it to my rigid moral value system, so here goes: Lady Prudence Bell-Argenta, silver smith extrodinaire and personal stylist to Lord Ponkleton, is a lovely person, both to speak to and look at. She has a kind heart and soft skin that I must ask her about as soon as I get the chance, for you can never have soft enough skin, mind you. She and Lord Ponkleton have been seeing a lot of each other recently and I would like to say that I am at least pleased to state to you here, oh, wonderful and beloved reader, that they seem rather happy in each other’s company. Good luck to you, too, Lord Ponkleton!

Lord Mottsford, on the other hand, has not changed at all. He is still the philanderer of the group and has recently found a new lady-friend to consort and conduct “vocal debates”, as Noel Blunt once put it, with. No good luck wishes to you, Lord Mottsford. You’re lucky enough as it is.

Recently, right now in fact, Lord Boyling is visiting Stockholm just for the weekend and, yesterday, he accompanied Lady Ganesha and Lords Ponkleton and Mottsford out on a night on the town. The aristocratic band of hipsters, practically assaulted by cajolers wherever they turned, decided to retire to Ponk Plaza for a brief soirée in the mist of the narghile. Lady Ganesha did not join them, rendering the evening’s finale a gentleman’s venture, as Lady Bell-Argenta was out of town and Lord Mottsford’s most recent female acquisition was nowhere to be seen either.

The following day, Lords Ponkleton and Boyling met up at Ponk Plaza once again to compose opera of the highest imaginable quality and others of an intentionally poor nature. Why, I’m not sure.