1. From the ‘Oldies but Goldies’ archive:

She’s the high school guidance councilor with years of experience who’s strict but fair. He’s the student with disciplinary issues and a secret crush on her. She’s asked him to meet him in her office to discuss the hand-paintings of her in lurid positions that he was caught red-handed fashioning on the bathroom walls using his own semen as ink, and he’s ready to do anything to forgo his parents finding out and subsequently cutting him out of their will. After discussing his artwork in detail for several minutes, you could cut the sexual tension with a wooden spoon and the idea is they end up fucking like bonobo-monkeys on her desk. Will she be able to straighten him out and will he reveal his full potential and show her that he’s up for the task?

2. “Yeah, who’s your accountant, bitch?!”

He’s the accountant with two failed marriages behind him and a third one about to go down the drain who needs to stay at work late and attend to the paperwork his colleagues should have taken care of already. She’s the illegal immigrant with a special interest in government agriculture finance programs who cleans his office in the evenings and answers to the name Vladenka. She pushes her little wagon of cleaning products into his office just as he’s cupping his balls at the heap of paperwork as a gesture of utter contempt for his profession and she’s so unreservedly turned on by this that she somehow reveals the illegitimacy of her alleged domestic standing. He needs an outlet for his professional frustration as well as to get laid, since he hasn’t got any at home in a long while and he suspects his wife is having an affair. She needs him to keep her secret and, if possible, to help her forge whatever paperwork is required for their mutual employer not to suspect anything and subsequently have her sacked. Will she get him to fill out her forms with his ballpoint pen?

3. Natural cravings and unnatural ones:

He’s the zookeeper who’s broken more than a handful of public health and safety laws and is now sitting on a log in the terrarium, talking to one of his boas. She’s the legal office intern who’s there to file a subpoena against him. The moment she steps into the reptile room and sees him with the thick long veined creature in his hands, sparks ignite and she can feel the controlled moistness of the air-conditioned venue creeping through her clothes to her skin. He sees her briefcase and recognizes the threat a subpoena poses to the continuation of his career and family heritage, and suddenly stands erect before her, with only a sheet of glass – too thin from a legal point of view – between them. Will she dare to endanger her employment at the legal firm just to drop the subpoena and pet his snake?

4. Gender-(hygiene-)bending:

She’s the lavatory engineer who’s at a sewage conference battling ferocious feces as well as the derogatory gender stereotypes her male colleagues propose at every instance and who’d never admit to any of them that she sometimes fantasizes about other women. She’s the stressed-out cross-dressing banker who’s pretending to be a guy who’s pretending to be a gynecologist, but who’s actually supposedly a banker, too, and she has just stumbled into the wrong lecture hall and realized there’s not a gynecologist in the entire room, neither real nor pretend, but is too embarrassed and curious to tell them the fake truth. When the two women’s eyes meet across the conference table, Sapphic tremors rock their world. Will these two women manage to keep their hands off each other when they break for coffee? Will the banker/gynecologist join in on the male chauvinist remarks to make sure her cover isn’t blown? And how will she explain to the female lavatory engineer why she’s wearing a white coat? I have a feeling these two will attend to some hands-on bonding over the issue of lacking hygiene…

5. The old ‘affair game’ with a new spin to it:

He’s the multiple-personality-disorder guy who’s unaware of his mental condition, that in turn is often triggered by excess intakes of corn and corn-derivatives. She’s the wife, who’s cheating on him with his other personality, and who suggests they have burritos for dinner. As soon as he turns, she on him like a ladybug on a four-leaf clover, tearing their clothes off, applying clasps to his nipples and telling him what a dickless arsehole her boring turd of a husband is. He’s turned on by the fact that he has no idea where he is or why this strange woman he’s never seen before is telling him about her husband wile apparently trying to have some kind of kinky s/m foreplay with him. Will he pretend he knows what she’s talking about just to get in her pants? Will the burritos be enough to keep them going till they have a shared orgasm? And how would he act, if they weren’t? Just one way to find out, folks…