You don’t wake up until your body tires of sleeping and feels like having a look around. A French chef serves you breakfast in bed while your favourite film runs in the background and three half-naked women who recently gave up their professional modelling careers to become your personal masseuses tend to your body with meticulous care and a fourth one fans you with a large palm leaf and recites poetry composed by Nobel Prize winners of literature in your honour. A band of your choice plays songs of your choice in a musical genre of your choice on a small stage nearby that has been decorated with banners sporting your name, while an adequately sized group of fans faces the music and cheers your name and agrees that you are in fact awesomeness personified.

Your arch nemesis is brought in, his hands and feet in chains, and he’s made to carry the breakfast plates off the premises in a manner that is both demeaning to his persona and discouraging towards others of ever wronging you in any conceivable way. At the same time, the love of your life enters the bedroom naked, strips you of your clothes and makes passionate love to you in a way that couldn’t be described even by the most talented masters of verse on the most beautiful and inspiring day in the entire history of the universe. You make love for hours, half-naked women feeding you strawberries with their delicate silk-gloved hands and pouring champagne into your mouth from crystal tumblers carried in on silver trays by blind pygmy butlers, who can’t hide their admiration for your achievements and character.

In a corner, and facing it, sits a man counting the billions of dollars and pounds in royalties for your best-selling autobiography that drop unceasingly into your many Swiss bank accounts, while he simultaneously informs you of all the kings and queens in the world who are constantly having you knighted and awarded medals for being such a great person.

You take distance courses at universities around the world, but you already know everything there is know about anything, about which there is anything to know about, so you just carry on in the same fashion, staying in bed and making love and watching films and reading books and doing others stuff you like doing, passing all the exams in absentia, receiving the best possible grades and attaining diplomas and degrees, and being utterly fabulous.

Your entire life is one long orgasmic experience of things and people and events you hold dear. You travel the world, you inspire people, and you face only the type of adversities that in turn inspire you to better yourself even further, thus adding to the profound glory that everyone associates with your name and that will echo in the annals of the world until the end of time.