Ponkleton,

How good it is to hear that you survived the spectacle in Venice! I am not at all surprised that you tried to avoid the streets, as I read a rather incriminating article about it in the Post. I believe the writer summed it up rather fittingly as “an event that represents all the ugly desires and virtues of the common man but disguises it as something graceful and intellectual”. I hope that you found your way to more respectable locales, where people at least have the decency to pardon themselves before they empty their stomach on the floor.

I am also very happy to hear that you have managed to rendezvous with Lord Jamés, even though I have no idea what this TAT business is. I presume it has nothing to do with the rise of the new feminist organization in London, Tense Women Against Top Hats (TWAT)? Nevertheless, I would much enjoy to see a photograph from your escapades, if it is allowed to be mailed.

But speaking of old Britannia, have you heard that I will be going to Dublin later this month, to visit our good friend Mr. Wilde and the rest of the fellows from Trinity College? Yes indeed, I am expecting a complete revival of our old student manners, when our only obligation besides writing plays was drinking our bodyweight in whiskey! But it was a requirement, as I am sure you will agree, to draw our inspiration from the crevices of our studious brains. After all, was it not George Bernard Shaw who said that “alcohol is a very necessary article” that “enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning”.

Hopefully, once I return, I will have an array of anecdotes for you when we next hear from one another, but until then I hope that you continue to enjoy the bloody hell out of that city of yours! But don’t drink the water!

Tally-ho,

Boyling